Archive for the ‘Quotes of the day’ Category

(Me) What element in the periodic table has the chemical symbol B?

(Pupil) ….’Burger sauce fam’…..


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‘Sir…..why you leaving the school you wasteman, don’t you want to teach us anymore?  I swear if you leave im going to stab you and staple you to the chair so you cant move….I beg you add me on facebook’…

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But I said…’Dad, Giggs is a breast man AND he rates arses

He says allow being a wasteman son and get yourself to classes.

Im late again.


The council says I gotta go to school on the daily

The council doesn’t know shit and the teachers try and play me.

Sir is on a gassman ting.


Apparently I got problems, behavioural and emotional.

Apparently my borough got problems cos im seen as antisocial.

Keeps me Grounded.


I live my life through my Ipod

Giggs, Ghetts and skepta provide the bounce to my soulless kickers.

They worn out.


I get to school and sit dreamin as the Bunsen burner flickers

Looking for some answers in the flames but I get a flickering fuck all.

What prospects


Teachers aint got a clue what to do with me

What the fuck they shouting for, I just wanna jam you see.

Real talk

 They think im being rude because I kiss my teeth and chew

But I have already seen enough aggression today, hence why im different kind of blue.

Just Move on bruv.


Dad shouts, my brother shouts and its too damn loud.

My volume is felt through my fists.

Trying to channel this anger


But today I just want some peace.

Ur mum he says, don’t get me started…..

Allow the hype


They ask why im angry, is it because I miss my mum

Whats going on at home, what is it they don’t know?

Experts my ass


That in a box of a flat 6 to the bed we sleep.

Head to toe. No room to grow

Im cramped inside.


Im a coiled spring ready to release

Allow the screwface fam you don’t want none of this…

Double English…Fuck that…im going home

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Me:  ‘Gravity and upthrust are 2 forces…what is a 3rd?’

Student: ‘greenpeace’………….

I think I have found our next ecowarrior. Hero

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‘sir….im the black harry potter innit…look at dese ‘ard glasses. I make shit dissapear from primark and I give mans scars on their face….twinkle twinkle shit’.

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‘Is tinchy stryder really blind sir? I swear thats a lie…though i think i saw him with a white stick one time in tottenham still’…..

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‘sir….you get a fresh haircut everyweek alie? i rate that i rate that…..allow me 10 pound to get my hair cut….’


‘thats moist’….

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